The Barnyard Classic #9

    Technical Terrain (TTF) Crew

    June 28, 2019, 03:27 PM

    Date - 9/14-15/2019

    Registration - 11:20 - 12:20 – $20 entry fee, partner, food pantry donations, pot luck dish

    Racer Meeting – 12:45

    Race Start - 1:00

    Gelande Quaffing - 3:15

    Kids Race - About 4:15 Grab a beer and watch the young shredders throw down after the biathlon

    What - Crazy cycling/gelande quaffing duo endurance biathlon followed by the ultimate potluck dinner and partying into the night

    Where - John and Kattia's Farm; 9658 E Perry Center Rd, Mount Horeb, WI; a farm in a valley south of Mount Horeb

    Why - Because we all like to see our friends riding the sufferbus!

    Who - Anyone and their kids

    Lodging - Free overnight camping is available onsite - there is limited space for camper parking as well

    Dinner - POTLUCK - please bring one dish per racer to pass (spectators can bring one dish per couple), a grill will be available. Don't forget dishes are tied to bonus points!

    Bonfire - weather permitting

    Sunday – Breakfast by Coleman with bloody marys to remedy that hangover

    Beverages - Available for BYC events as well as a keg each of Pseudo Sue and Vintage Octoberfest; please BYOB for all of your other needs

    Course Features - 1.6 mile hilly short track (expect 8 - 15 minute laps); a shed full of fog and whatever else we find lying around, CX barriers, hay wagons, livestock (pot belly pigs, goats, and chickens) and a hemp field!

    Fee - $20 to cover shirts, breakfast, insurance, the plastic box with a toilet, beverages, and other misc. expenses

    Donation - The VBC is asking participants and spectators to bring 2 canned items per person to donate to the local food pantry. Don't forget donations are tied to bonus points!

    Let me start by saying that although this is a race, it is for fun, so those of you that feel you don't like to compete should have no excuse for not coming out and having a good time. This particular event is focused on endurance or rather how many laps can be put down and bonuses accumulated in 2 hours. This is a duo format event so you only really have to ride for about an hour. The standard egg baton, costume, and underwear bonuses are in place. Let's get CREATIVE with those costumes and remember spandex does not count toward the underwear bonus! Most of you know what gelande quaffing entails but in case you have been living under a rock check the link at the bottom of this wall of text. Don't be intimidated by the athleticism displayed! We are just as health conscious as the next hardcore endurance athlete. We will go with 6 oz pours of delicious PBR. Sunday morning will bring bloody marys with breakfast to shake off that hangover from the delicious brews we are getting for dinner!

    A few things to make sure you bring with you:

    Teammate – Still looking? Post here with your personal profile including favorite color, song, food, etc

    Do not fear if you can’t snag a partner! There is always someone standing around that can ride a bike.

    Entry fee – please bring exact change and we prefer cash – the closest ATM is like 4 hills away

    Potluck dish – 1 per racer or 1 per spectating couple

    2 food pantry donations – CHECK those expiration dates! We don’t need your WWII sauerkraut!

    Costume and/or underwear (underwear does not equal spandex, spandex is for roadies or cross racers not super cool mountain bikers)


    Sleeping bag

    Weather appropriate clothes – It’s Wisconsin. Anything can happen.

    Chair for the bonfire

    Beverages for the post potluck shenanigans

    Flashlight/head lamp for the late night trip to the barn for leftovers or other....activities. Night laps encouraged!

    Water to keep you in top shape


    Biathalon Details:

    MTB Race:

    Format - Duo (male, female, coed, or junior - 10 - 18 and confident on the trail)

    2 hour - The last lap must be completed before time expires

    Lap rule - Teammates can't be more than 2 laps apart

    Costume/underwear - PG13 rated - there will be kids around

    Altering or shortcutting the course = DQ

    Ebikes - Not allowed for this event


    Successful completion of the egg baton: Don't crack your egg! = 2 laps overall. The egg must be carried

    somewhere on the rider or the bike at all times. You choose the means.

    Consuming your raw uncracked egg = 1 lap overall

    Costume = 2 laps overall per rider and must be worn for at least 2 laps

    Underwear - wearing only tighty whities or granny panties and a bra = 1 lap overall per rider (Lycra, boxers, and boxer briefs do not count)

    All bonuses must be acknowledged by the scorekeeper in the bonus tent – Don’t assume we noticed your goofy ass costume or those spiffy underwear!

    Vomiting = 1 lap penalty per instance (my money is on Seth )

    Not bringing a dish for the potluck = 1 lap penalty per rider

    Not bringing a food pantry donation = 2 lap penalty per rider

    Bringing expired food pantry donation = 2 lap penalty per rider


    Gelande Quaffing: this portion is optional* for male, female, and coed teams

    Format - 90 sec rounds - 2 teams

    The ‘quaffer’ must be 2’ from the edge of the table and must catch the mug in the AIR with ONE hand

    Players must alternate positions for each turn

    Positions can’t be exchanged until the mug in play touches the table top

    6 oz. pours

    Beer must be quaffed not worn to count


    Mug catch = 1 pt

    Handle catch = 1 pts

    360 deg catch = 2 pts

    Under the leg catch = 2 pts

    Wearing your costumes during quaffing = 2 pts

    1 pt = 1 lap

    Placing will determined by a composite score from both events.

    *Must be 21 or older to quaff beer. In the event a player chooses not to quaff beer they must quaff soda or seltzer water.

    All biathlon related details (except duration and team makeup) are subject to change prior to the event.

    See you soon!
    The VBC crew


    « Last Edit: August 19, 2019, 08:11 PM by JHenry »

    Technical Terrain (TTF) Crew

    August 19, 2019, 08:04 PM

    The details are updated! The shirt preorder will be posted in the next day or two. If you have any questions you can post here or send me a message. We are looking forward to seeing you all!

    Technical Terrain (TTF) Crew

    August 20, 2019, 06:00 PM

    The shirt preorder is open! Reply here or message me with size, color and qty. The shirt is a unisex Bella 3001. It's a softy 😉   Your race entry covers the cost of the shirt. If you are not racing the cost per shirt is $15.

    Preorder closes at midnight 9/2!

    Both shirts will have the same design on the back.

    « Last Edit: August 21, 2019, 12:08 PM by JHenry »


    August 26, 2019, 11:08 AM

    New advanced feature/shortcut dialed in at the work day yesterday- "The Panty Drop"


    Should "shave" off some time.  Make sure you scope it out before dropping it.  WAY steeper than it looks

    « Last Edit: August 26, 2019, 11:16 AM by Wade »

    Technical Terrain (TTF) Crew

    September 02, 2019, 09:12 AM

    The shirt preorder closes in 15 hours! You can PM me here or send an email to jw henry 21 @gmail.com